One of these things is not like the others

I used to think the smartest and healthiest thing a person could be was totally transparent because then they’d never be caught lying, they’d never have shame, they would be welcoming and open.

I’ve thought that total openness was appealing, candid, warm. But that way of being has always been for someone else. I’ve got all the proof, the receipts, see everything, see me, doing right. It’s actually a very burdened way to live when the gates are open in order for others to see there’s nothing to hide. It’s still performance, still for them, preoccupied with what others might ask and you need to share. You don’t have to reach inside to share something, or make the decision of who gets what. It’s all on the spread.

I’ve been trying to learn that a boundary, is not the same as putting up a wall and closing yourself off, blocking, becoming cold or distant. A boundary is caring, not rejecting. They are purposeful, not cutting.

An act of kindness for yourself is not inherently violence to others. Boundaries are not borders.

Shut. Sealed. Walled off. Closed. Blocked.

Borders. Fuck borders.

Boundaries.